I was listening to Charles Stanley today as I was cleaning. And the sword came and divided my soul and spirit. “For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.” Hebrews 4:12
I had little faith last year. Remember when I spoke about the adoption situation at our old agency that they were trying to place? I was willing, but had no funds. Well, I should have stepped. I know it. I wanted the money in hand first before I stepped. Now that is not faith. The agency was willing to waive many fees, do an expedited home study and meet me half way. My feet were stuck…I needed to SEE the money…
My faith was struggling last year, I couldn’t get it off the ground and say, “yes.” Great faith is when I know God can, and I know He will. I have no doubt had we said yes, got a 90 day note for the money for that special little guy, God would have provided. But, my heart beat too fast, my hands got clammy and I caved in fear. Why is it so easy when you look back to see what you should have done? I find I never regret doing something I feel a strong leading from God to do, but I ALWAYS regret not doing it. I am sure I missed a blessing. What was I afraid of? MONEY??
Heck, Abraham left his country when God said go and did not even know where he was heading. Noah built an ark when he had never seen a flood. And then there was Gideon who fought the battle with torches and noise…and WON…
As you saw in a later post, by 90 days, I would have had the money due to the adoption refund in our tax return. NOW I am ready, I have some funds at least something to see…but I lost the opportunity to exercise my faith. It was a weak muscle.
I thought I learned this lesson before. I even celebrated the victory, then lost the memory of God’s faithfulness somewhere in the ebb and flow of life, my muscle was weak from lack of exercise… How easily I forget the faithfulness of God.
“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1