And the Churning Continues:

And the churning continues

Perfect Love casts out all fear. So I was not thinking Jesus Others than You, (what a wonderful way to spell  JOY)
remember that song? I was thinking Me, mine and I’m scared. So did we say no too soon?

Is it possible for me to feel called to a situation and God not call Ray? How would that work? Not at all.
God warns about being unequally yoked with unbelievers ( II Corinthians 6:14), but Ray is a believer, so that’s not why.
Am I wrong in having compassion and caring? My fleece…call Ray too. That’s it. I’m tired of feeling
like I am a horse double yolked to an ox. One is pulling really hard and fast and runs out of steam and
one goes forever and very slowly at that. Ok I guess I must slow down and grow horns. I am like; yes
we can…Ray is like; well let’s see…

That is always my lesson isn’t it. Marriage is really hard, rarely are the two partners exactly the same.
In fact most of the time the differences in temperment are on opposite ends of the pole. Committed marriage is in the figuring
out how to.. . Someone has to bend. It us usually me, why? Because it bothers me the most I guess. He just
lets me run ahead and never tries to catch me. It bothers me he is way back there…so I stop turn around
and match his pace.

How would our marriage work if I didn’t do that? It wouldn’t. Soon I would be so far ahead that I wouldn’t
even feel him pulling. The yolk would break and I would be free and he would too. Too what end? Two
can pull better than one, if one falls there is no one to pick him or her up( Ecclesiastes 4:10). And who can break a strand
of three (Ecclesiastes 4:12)? Ray Me and God…grammatically incorrect, but strong 🙂


2 comments on “And the Churning Continues:

  1. There are always so many things that play into a marriage relationship. May God give you guidance and may you feel His blessing.

  2. God uses our husbands to keep us from rushing ahead and saying yes to something we will later regret. I am like you, I think yes…but when I have done so, there has been deep regret…and we are still paying for my haste. As much as you want to adopt, I know that is your desire..Ray may be saying yes to please you but in all honesty the answer in his heart may be no. I have lived through that too. Ed would say yes with much reluctance..I would go ahead..and..once again..we are living with the mistake. The Lord obviously has given you a big heart for kids that need a home. Yours may not be the one. Perhaps He is calling you to another part of the adoption process, not the adopter but a facilitator to help others that have the desire. I think you passing up on an opportunity, was you being obedient to God’s voice through Ray. You should feel relief that you staved of a potential disaster. How could it be a disaster you ask…Thankfully you will never find out in this situation. In my heart, I see a struggle with contentment. Your title of this was the churning…Often times our churning is us fighting against God with our desires…. against his. I don’t think churning is what He intends for any of us. Letting go of a chapter of our life is hard…holding on to that chapter when we are supposed to let go is even harder…thus the churning…turmoil..discontent…not being able to sleep because our mind turns it over and over….Be still and know….that he is God…

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