Part 3 of “The Story”

We get an email from the agency that did our home study:

SOCIAL WORKERS ALL Subject: Need family for Special Needs Baby


We are looking for an adoptive family who is willing to be matched with this special needs baby. The birth mother requested a “safe haven” on this baby, so she does not want to pick the family nor wants any future contact. She doesn’t even want to know the medical condition of the baby. Below is the information on the baby. Please let me know by tomorrow morning if you have any families who are at least interested. If we can’t find any families we are going to start calling other agencies tomorrow. We should have complete medical records by tomorrow as well.

Full Caucasian Baby boy born on Friday 13th in a police car. Baby was taken to St. Chris’ in Philadelphia.

The baby tested positive for oxycodone and is currently on morphine for withdraw. The baby was also put on antibiotics for any possible infection due to delivering in the police car, but has completed this cycle and is clear of infections. Hospital is doing an HIV test on the baby today and the birth mother received no pre-natal care.

The baby was born at 43 weeks but was just under 5lbs. The baby had a prominent forehead and wide set nipples, which caused the hospital have the baby seen by a Geneticist and complete genetic testing. Geneticist came back saying that the baby has dysmorphicfeatures and no more genetic testing was required. The baby’s hands are also contracted (tight fist).

The baby was diagnosed with Intrauterine Growth Restriction. They believe this was due to poor nutrition and drug use during pregnancy. Here is a website with more information about this diagnosis:

Baby did have further testing completed: Normal Head, EEG came back normal.

Please let me know if you have any families that would consider this situation and I can forward you the medical records for them to review once we receive them.

Thank you.


We of course contacted them and said we were interested. Then we had to wait. Here is the tricky part. Their placement fees for a Caucasian baby are ($ 23,000 +) they also need the post placement costs (1700) and the medical escrow ($1000) at the time of placement. Because of his special needs, couples aren’t exactly falling over themselves to bring this special angel into their families. No one else was interested.  We have only 10,000 in the bank. Negotiation time: we told them at max we could go 13,000. First they lowered their placement fees to $11,500, then to a flat $10,000. I thought that was fair. We cleared out our account ( balance is now less than $300), borrowed another $3,000, and made plans to go to Philadelphia.

We yet have to pay termination and finalization legal cost, not at all sure what they will be, last time they amounted to around $2,000, but trusting for God to provide.

Sigh, the money end of things discourages many people, us included. We were joking that we have taken a vow of poverty! It is really hard to take the step to clear out all the money you have, to have nothing for a rainy day, to give up the hope of fixing my bathroom, nice flooring in my bedroom etc. But when you put it in the balance, what is more important? I know one thing, God usually wants it all: all your dreams, all your possessions; total commitment.  He hates when we are lukewarm. Hot or cold.

For our Adoption Fund:


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