The night before last, Heather had me read Psalm 91 over little Eli’s very still body…”He who dwells in the secret places of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress; My God, in Him I will trust.” Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the pestilence. He shall cover you with his feathers and under his wings you shall take refuge. His truth shall be your shield and buckler. You shall not be afraid of the terror by night. Nor of the arrow that flies by day. Nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness. Nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday.”
As the words flowed through the room, I felt helpless. I stammered through the verses…Meanwhile all around the country and the world, YOU were praying.
Yesterday began with a knowledge that if God did not intervene, I would never hold Eli again. Here is a synopsis of my conversations with my sisters… I know they won’t mind:
Heather: Read psalm 91
Me: Is that the long one? I am having a hard time thinking.
Heather: Yes, read it over Eli. I will read it over him from here.
Me: ok I can do that I am getting a shower then I will get right on it until they do his blood gas levels
back now levels are worse the pCO2 they are most worried about, it is now 85 was 79 should be less than 45. they are suctioning
Debbie: Esther, I just caught up on the messages, finally home from work. Any more news?
Sue: Our church is praying. I didn’t know his exact age, but explained the situation. Have gotten emails back that Eli is being covered by prayer. I Love you Esther:) Rest when you can…
Me: Sue he is 2 1/2 months. uneventful night numbers have dropped slightly from 85 back to 79 then 75. yesterday at this time they were in the 50’s his body needs to compensate and it really is not. so his ph is also too low. if the numbers are high and his ph improves it shows his body is starting to fight better, tears are still dripping heart is still praying.
they did not do the open suction again. he probably needs it because his lungs are trapping air. until the mucus is removed, it is a problem. but they are afraid since he coded with it yesterday. I love him so much and I can do nothing, but God can I gave him back again last night I am sure u understand, but this morning I am weeping
Melodye: Esther, I was going to come… but my TN slammed me through the night and I caught Dan’s cold. I was planning to leave about now, had my clothes all laid out. Even if the TN didn’t stop me, the cold would have. Praying praying praying
Me: they just did rounds no real change for him except he may need a blood transfusion. His one number looked good: a lung resistance number?? IDK I ask questions…but he is the same laying there very still and resting. His pCO2 number is the same, high 70’s. I am trusting
oh yes, they did start to feed him formula in a ng tube. His intestines are making good noises 🙂
Heather: Oh good! You have an army of people praying.
reading is 79 as long as it stays under 90 the head doc says they will make no drastic changes for care.
After a discussion with Melodye on the craziness of having the laundry soap on the first floor and the washer on the eighth floor:
Melodye: it was definitely a man! I can send you some clothes if you need! Whatever you need. I actually was going to stop and get you a few things when I was coming… but God apparently has other plans
Me: is OK melodye really I appreciate that you WANTED to come and do the angel watch.
Melodye: I am doing the angel watch from here — the effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much — I am so glad my righteousness comes from the Blood of Jesus. I am being fervent!!
Debbie:I am praying, too. I prayed while I was working yesterday, too
Me: suctioned him are now bagging…brought him back… (20 hours ago)
Heather:No no! Not again. Wish i was there
Me: no his lungs did not collapse this time just his oxygen levels dropped to the low 70’s after suctioning Hr dropped to the 50’s…I was here
Heather:Oh, i cant stand that i cant be there. Why did they have to suction him again? What are his settings?
Me: it is fine he is set on 45 percent oxygen and rate of 24…same as before he just had to bag a while…always scares me
Heather: Are you okay now? Is he any better at all today? Is the antibiotic doing anything
Me: same, I feel a change is coming though…not sure which direction. just my spirit (18 hours ago)
I am praying, praying. Is your spirit specifically telling you anything? I’ve not gotten any Word… and I am open and asking for a Word.
Esther, the Lord did tell me one thing (and I hope you are not offended by this). But He said that you got Eli because another couple, who desperately wanted a baby and he was their one and only could not have handled this well. You, because you have many other blessings, can handle whatever happens. This was in His plan for Eli’s life and you and Ray were the best couple to handle it. I didn’t get any further Word as far as the outcome.I hope you hear it the way I heard it. I hesitated to tell you, but I neither added nor left out anything He told my spirit.
Me:Pastor Freeman came to pray with me, the chaplin here. I feel something changing not sure which way…but his blood samples came back with pCO2 at 69. But it neither confirms or denies either outcome. Kim Fox was here when the pastor came and she prayed with us. the lady from downstairs came telling me about the outpatient services he would probably need…monitors oxygen… I have an expectancy of something …
Heather:How is he Esther (15 hrs ago)
Me: tachy really needs his transfusion soon. hr now around 180 but I just feel something is about to change…
Heather:What will the transfusion do? When do they plan on doing it.
Me:I can’t explain it I feel something chills like the presence of God is here feeling like you get during a wonderful praise time as soon as his type and match comes back his blood type and sub group so it is a great match…I think they have it right now.. 🙂 yep the blood has arrived
Heather: have they started it yet?
Me: yep they just had to double check all the numbers for a match and I was keeping an eye on things 🙂 they love me here!!
- Heather: good. Are you holding together okay?
- Me: yes I just don’t feel the darkness I felt yesterday I am holding very well and i just might nap 🙂
- Heather: yes sleep. the Lord is giving you the peace we asked for.
- Melodye: Good! Sleep! You are chosen for this child, for this time!! I continue to bathe you and Eli in prayer!
- Me: ok just got up…transfusion still underway about half done. still tacky…(hr too high) but his pCO2 levels are now at 66 !! (13 hours ago)
- Heather: ok, what is making the hr go so far up? how high is it right now? it could just be stress and pain? Praise God for the 66!How long does a transfusion take?what does tacky mean? sorry I have so many questinos so fast. So excited he might turn a corner
- Me: tacky is fast hr it is 180 not good, also the other not good thing is all of the formula is being upchucked into his mouth and they are suctioning it out…they have stopped the feeding and have to reinsert the ng tube into the duodenum(first part of small intestine). transfusion is slow so probably another hour and we won’t know for about two if it helped his tacky problem (13 hours ago)
- nurse just came and said the albuterol may be causing the tacky if his blood pressure increases they will remove the albuterol for his asthma symptoms…pray they don’t have to do that since his lungs finally appear to be working a bit betterHeather: oh okay…very interesting. oh yes he did you are right. I hope it really changes him around . Wish we could all be there with you keeping you company during this long wait.
- Me: me too…it is ok God is here today I feel him a presence here…not that he wasn’t here yesterday but it sure felt dark in here nuts I know but the spirit knows something
- Heather:it is a spiritual battle always. Principalities and powers that we are unaware of.
- Melodye;God was waiting for you to get to this place… to really give Eli to him… and let him there at the foot of the cross
- Me:right you are Melodye.
- Melodye: have felt it here — there was a line from me to you! Satan thought he could sever it if I couldn’t come today, but I just kept the line open…
There’s a sweet sweet spirit in this place. and I know that it’s the presence of the Lord
Sweet holy spirit, sweet heavenly dove
Me: Yes Heather it is a presence right here
Melodye: I am tired, sort of weary the way Jesus was when he prayed… Stay right here with us, filling us with your love.And for these BLESSING we life our hearts in praise*BLESSINGS
Me:without a doubt
Heather: without a doubt we’ll knowthat we have been revived
Melodye: when we shall leave this place… not “If” we should leave, but “when” we leave
his ph is in the normal range no longer acidic. 7.3
The nurses are happy the numbers are better but unless you are a Christian don’t know if you could feel this
…pCO2 is at 62 woot woot!! lactate normal range, hr still elevated. LOVE my night nurse for him…older very experienced and doing pt with him.(9 hrs ago)
hr is in the 150’s
nuts hr now back in 170’s but talked to the head resident for the night…she was smiling…I said I was worried yesterday he would never come home, she nodded her head. Yes it was that bad now they will admit it since he is doing much better except for that hr. I met a man in the laundry God sent me there. I had one more set of clothes and could have waited for tomorrow, but I HAD to go. He is 48 single no kids…I started preaching don’t ask me I’m not much of a preacher. God had been talking to him about his nephew’s children in the system and gave every excuse under the sun why he shouldn’t do it but I knew god wanted him to get his family home. sista’s I gave him the whole load Holy Spirit giving me scriptures you know how it works I think a bit of the glory in this room went with me upstairs. He is a deacon in his church and God was not letting him alone. He told me God sent you up here…cool huh he got some overflow. (8 hours ago)
Debbie;I could’t wait to get home tonight to catch up on Eli’s condition. I have been praying everytime I could get a chance. I definitely felt a spiritual wall, but prayed anyway. I know God is bigger than what I’m feeling. So looks like the Red Sea is parting. (9 hours ago)
Me: pCO2 was 45 high end of NORMAL range PH is normal 🙂 they had to reinsert the ng tube last night it is a different kind of tube that goes into the duodenum (first part of the small intestines) because he was upchucking everything…it was SUCCESSFUL andhe did not code woo wee coming along. It will be days and days but he has made the turn 🙂Thank you Jesus
oh and his lungs are opening up they canHEAR it 🙂rounds are soon they will talk I am sure about things I don’t know yet but I am elated!! (2 hours ago)
rounds: lungs are much improved on xray, improved gases…lots of work to do, but we are headed in the right direction!! Thank you all for your prayers and God heard the cries of his people! He is a God who HEARS.