“put my tears into your bottle: are they not in your book?” Psalm 56:8
I had a night full of BELLS and WHISTLES. Every time they make changes his body rebels. He did not like some of the new vent settings. The combination of Lasix and the other medicine to make him pee bicarbonates, made him too dehydrated.
They have increased his respirations per minute back to 20 since he was tiring out and his blood work was showing it. Now he is just breathing with the respirator; but can breathe over it if he wishes. The therapist says he likes to hitch a ride on the vent: well who can blame him 🙂. His heart rate is back in the normal range as are his blood pressures. His fontanel (soft spot) was sunk in and his other physical signs show that he is too dehydrated, so they are not using Lasix or the other medicine today. They are upping his feed since he is still not getting full feed.
He is trying to focus and his eyes keep crossing since everything is too far away for him to focus on. I put the bear the transport team gave him in view and that seems to be helping. He is gagging a bit on the vent tube. His poor little eyes water like nuts when they clean his airway and you can see him gagging, poor guy. He is still out of it since they have him partially sedated. He still looks good, just very, very sick.
The worst of it is when he cries, no one hears him. His eyes water, his brow furrows, his face gets red, he looks at me beseechingly; but I cannot pick him up. It tears me up that I cannot comfort my little one by holding him. All I can do is hold his head, look in his eyes, and tell him that I hear him and love him very much.Just as God saw my silent tears coursing down my face the past few days, I see his. He is coming back to us. I will never tire of saying this: He Lives.