Silent Cries

Silent Cries

“put my tears into your bottle: are they not in your book?” Psalm 56:8

I had a night full of BELLS and WHISTLES. Every time they make changes his body rebels. He did not like some of the new vent settings.  The combination of Lasix and the other medicine to make him pee bicarbonates, made him too dehydrated.

Daddy Came to Visit!!

Daddy Came to Visit!!

They have increased his respirations per minute back to 20 since he was tiring out and his blood work was showing it. Now he is just breathing with the respirator; but can breathe over it if he wishes. The therapist says he likes to hitch a ride on the  vent: well who can blame him 🙂. His heart rate is back in the normal range as are his blood pressures.  His fontanel (soft spot) was sunk in and his other physical signs show that he is too dehydrated, so they are not using Lasix or the other medicine today. They are upping his feed since he is still not getting full feed.

He is trying to focus and his eyes keep crossing since everything is too far away for him to focus on. I put the bear the transport team gave him in view and that seems to be helping. He is gagging a bit on the vent tube. His poor little eyes water like nuts when they clean his airway and you can see him gagging, poor guy. He is still out of it since they have him partially sedated. He still looks good, just very, very sick.

The worst of it is when he cries, no one hears him. His eyes water, his brow furrows, his face gets red, he looks at me beseechingly; but I cannot pick him up. It tears me up that I cannot comfort my little one by holding him. All I can do is hold his head, look in his eyes, and tell him that I hear him and love him very much.Just as God saw my silent tears coursing down my face the past few days, I see his.  He is coming back to us. I will never tire of saying this: He Lives.




3 comments on “Silent Cries

  1. I am so sorry that Eli, you and your family is having to go thru this. God has His plan and His plan is the best plan; we know that, but how difficult it is experiencing this ordeal. I pray for you all thru out the day and cry tears with you and Eli. Thanks for keeping us updated and please be still and fill all the loving arms around the two of you there in Pittsburgh.

  2. Oh, Esther……Your love and faith inspire me! I send you my love and heartfelt prayers. You are special and Eli is special. God is using you both, in ways you can’t even imagine! I believe the bond you two have with each other will be stronger than ever, after this experience & once Eli is home with you to stay!
    Much love & prayers, Carol & Jim O. ❤

  3. My heart breaks for you and your family, but I continue to keep you in my prayers. He is testing you all and you are passing with flying colors. Keep the faith!!

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