Just watching him breathe
He can be noisy; he can be quiet. Never sure if his chest is rising and falling: so we watch. Last night he was particularly noisy and Ray got up at 1:00am just to be sure he was OK. He was sitting in the chair beside the bed quietly peering over the side and concentrating on his movement. “ Is he heaving too hard?,” I asked. “I don’t know.” Ray replied. It is hard hearing him breathe this way and not seeing the reassuring monitor record 95 percent oxygen saturation.
We are so happy to have him home. No monitors, no leashes, but no security either. We just keep praying that if something is wrong our instincts will wake us up. His cry is really weak and frail. I cannot hear it in any other room. When the kids are home, I am not sure I can even hear it when I am in the same room…so I watch.
Although he lost 6 ounces since the time he went into the hospital, he must have grown. He no longer fit into the bassinet very well so we put another crib together (Benjamin still will not give up his). We had to have the head higher than the feet so Caleb helped put it together and offset the bottom one setting and we removed the wheels from the foot of the crib. It worked: a tilted bed!
He eats and I listen hard for aspiration. His diagnosis is silent aspiration, but maybe I could hear it…I hope that I do, so I can stop, and give him time to cough up what he put down the wrong tube. I feed him and listen to the before and after lung sounds: is he louder, junkier, or the same? It is hard to tell. Is that sound coming from his nose or his throat or worse yet his lungs? We have a follow up at the feeding clinic in a month, many, many feedings from now until then.
“Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the Everlasting God, the Creator of all the ends of the earth. He will not grow weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.” Isaiah 40:28-29.
Ian is fine. He came home a few hours after his ambulance ride with an epi pen prescription. He had those before when he was little; then they determined he no longer needed them since he successfully completed that anti-venom therapy. A Lot of good that did…Now I explain that if he has to use one to come home or get somewhere to call 911. That just gives him the time to get help. He stayed home from school the next day since his lips were still somewhat swollen and his face was still covered in hives. I didn’t take a picture. I couldn’t do that to him.