Today is the anniversary of my loss two years ago. This little angel baby died when I was moving electric fence with Micah. The fence was unplugged, and Micah was putting in a post. I had both hands on the fence, the grass was wet, my feet were bare…when Ray unknowing, plugged in the fence. I felt it, screamed, dropped the fence and cried. I knew…the shock went right through my baby…a few weeks later, I went into labor, the end of June. I was not surprised, I knew the day my baby died…Since that time, I have not carried a baby inside, but God has blessed us with a baby in our arms.

Still Affected


I am wearing a pair of shoes.
They are ugly shoes.
Uncomfortable shoes.
I hate my shoes.
Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair.
Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step.
Yet, I continue to wear them.
I get funny looks wearing these shoes.
They are looks of sympathy.
I can tell in other’s eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not
They never talk about my shoes.
To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.
To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.
But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.
I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes.
There are many pairs in this world.
Some women are like me and…

View original post 96 more words


2 comments on “

  1. Esther, I am so sorry for your loss! I dont think the pain of loss ever goes away. It just gets easier to live with over time. Thank you for sharing your story!! As I struggle to get through loosing our little angel, hearing I am not alone, gives me the hope that there will be a day in the future I will feel the Lords goodness, and see my many blessings! Thanks for your love and strength!! Your are truly a remarkable woman and mother!!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s