A Rare Moment

Splat, splat, the drip drops of water slipping off the roof mark the end of a summer shower. The breeze has the smell of wet earth as it twists the curtains and they fold over on top of themselves. The thunder is still grumbling in the distance. I am sitting here in a very rare moment all alone as the children and Ray enjoy the last vestiges of the storm under the porch roof.

I was so tired this morning when I woke up (well actually day and night have merged) and began to search for a verse that I needed so badly. It is crazy how all the time I spent as a child memorizing the Word is so needed now. I don’t have time to do great concordance searches and in depth studies, but I have time for a glimpse of a verse trailing through my mind to be found by searching the key words. I was never great at remembering the passage reference…

Hast thou not known? Hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth fainteth not, neither is weary?  (Oh man, but I am)

There is no searching of his understanding.( I am having so much trouble with wondering why I cannot have the easy road. Why when I try to do something, it is the way that has never been tried before. We are the machete family clearing the path in the jungle)

 He giveth power to the faint, and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. ( I am so tired my stomach hurts and I am sick, I want to be nice, but am struggling to do so. All I want to do is sleep…and it is far from me)

Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall; (ok that does not apply to me as I am not young or a youth, but if they fall, I guess I have fallen and can’t get up!!)

 

 But those that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary, and they shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:28-31. Now that end part, oh yeah… Renewed strength.  God , you have chosen THIS road, I am very tired, but you can make me have the strength to enjoy … In come the children, the screen door slamming between each child…

Benjamin singing ABC’s in another language from youtube.

Eli reaching for the unreachable…the fan on the ceiling.

Baby boy, sleeping the sleep of the innocent in the daytime (I must forget about the unhappiness at night…be in the present).  The tag team effect  as always making it hard for me(Eli awake, baby boy sleeping, and vice versa).

The chatter of the children in the kitchen as they are making spaghetti for tonight and brownies and dirt for the 4th  of July celebration tomorrow…

And I can have the strength to change one more diaper, smile at one more child, and listen to one more story. I can be kind, I can be patient, I can be loving.

 Impulsively, Mazie makes up some song in the kitchen, no one understands it , but they begin singing along and adding verses…”Brownies, brownies, brownies start with B”…

As the thunder completely fades, Eli complains and I finally hear him. Yes, it is time to pick up on some of that renewed strength and finish the day…finish the race I was made to run…

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