Car overheating, Ben trying to climb out of the car onto the highway;
Ian, not grown, trying to be grown, peering into the little engine that couldn’t, wanting to add water but not knowing which cap to open. Me trying to be brave again, with one eye on the Ben, pointing with extended arm to THE cap. And I said, “wait.”
Ian and I shifted places. He tries to be calm with Ben, but youthful impatience streams through. Good thing we switched. I knew better than this: Standing back, I Ioosen the cap, and the cap flies out of my hand, hot steam and water fly ten feet into the air. Wow ! Glad it was me and not Ian. As short as I am, the water/steam mixture missed me completely. He would have had a full face of it. Thank you, God for that voice that said “wait.” I just should have waited longer…maybe for the water to cool down 🙂
We limped to our destination and bought water, then limped our way home, stopping multiple times to add more water. Benjamin escapes from his car seat straps every time, and Eli is not happy either. But all in all we were blessed, we got home and no one is hurt. One truck now for at least a week, but at least we have one.
Older son says we need a cell phone, it makes him feel frantic that we are out there with no way to communicate.
Life moves in cycles. It is our time to fight again. Our rest time is over. The “wait” time we have been in so long is “GO.”
During our time of rest, we made a decision.
Tired, tired of being so poor and dependent. Tired, tired of knowing that change is coming; always looking, but never seeing an opportunity.
The door was open, had been for almost two years. Open, with strings. Lots of money to pay, responsibility, completely closing the door that we could ever fly away to a better somewhere.
We said, “yes.”
Faith that God has been building as we put everything on the line time and again for adoptions is being tested once again. This time not only does it call for everything we own in the bank, which is now nothing, it calls for us to trust with our home. The bank and theowners are willing to take a risk, banking on our good name and credit. A lean on the farm, a huge loan on one side of the scale, on the other side is future for our family, hope, and an established successful business that the owners wanted to bless someone with…We said, yes, and the turmoil in our life begins again.
So predictable, the turmoil, it always comes after the calm. It is to force us to take our eyes off of the goal, to focus on what is temporary and forget the permanent. It is important not to let the raging win.
It is hard to shift from “wait for it, wait for it… for at least three years…
Don’t walk away from the “YES’s” in your life… they seem to always require something from you, a stretching, a pulling, you will never be the same. But honestly, do you want to? stay the same……………forever??