This feeling is all too familiar

Listening to Christmas music, so tired, but can’t sleep. Surely God sees me here…surely God sees Ray there..Healing please, Lord Jesus. Healing for my love. How does one go on alone? How can life go from struggle to more struggle? Please God, clarity; please God help me remember the important things.

All this churning inside, while to the world I am functioning. I wrote a blog, made normal comments on Facebook, went shopping..put the kids to bed, did book work..and life has changed…this feeling is all too familiar. I know it well, I know its name; sorrow and grief..pain and pretending..that swallow hard, gut wrenching, eye burning, aching pain. Oh my honey, I love you, I wish I could take this from you… I so wish…

March 28 from my journal



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