This week has been an adjustment. Getting used to the whole community knowing about Ray’s diagnosis has been mixed. We actually had someone telling us about her mother dying of cancer and “gasping her last breath”. It was all I could do to not TKO her right then and there as Ray seemed to shrink inside of his skin as he listened to her nonstop negative chatter about chemotherapy.
The oncologist is very optimistic, but 95% of Ray’s bones are affected by the multiple myeloma. That is why his back hurts so much. The chemotherapy has begun, but at a half dose to protect the function of his kidneys. He is having some nausea, and exhaustion, but otherwise is tolerating the treatment well at this point.
Lots of neighbors and family and friends have reached out in positive ways to : buy us groceries, send a card, bring a meal, or watch the littles while I take Ray to one of his many appointments…the irony of buying 20 orange jello packets for Ray’s nausea along with pediasure and baby formula made me choke back tears in the store.
Ray being home every day and getting restless…he worked 100 hours a week before…
Watching Ray start his chemo shots and all the multitude of pills, chemo pills…ones to protect his kidneys…ones to prevent infections…downing more pills in a week than he has taken in his whole life, hanging onto the hope of all of this improving his chances at a longer life.
Some moments we function well, other times we are overwhelmed by the enormity of it all.
April 9, from my journal