The last few months, since Ray’s diagnosis, I have been living in a bit of a fog. I don’t really remember the time passing, although looking at my children and their growing, I know it has passed. A week or so ago, I got up and decided I would go on living. No matter what happens. I would live life to the fullest.
I booked a small vacation for us; one night in the Poconos at an indoor water park on an “off week” for Ray’s chemotherapy. The kids and I have just been existing, it is time to move on our bucket list of things that we want to do. One of them is always to make good memories. There has not been a lot of that lately….
When we came back, I opened the mail to do the bookwork for the business and found we were being sued. Then the next day, on Monday, we found out Ray’s new chemo medication is not working either… Just praying the mind fog away so living happens and I do not become one of the walking dead.
God hath not promised skies always blue
Flower strewn pathways, all our lives through;
God hath not promised sun without rain,
Joy without sorrow, peace without pain.
But God hath promised strength for the day,
Rest for the labour, light for the way,
Grace for the trials, help from above,
Unfailing kindness, undying love.
God hath not promised we shall not know
Toil and temptations, trouble and woe;
He hath not told us we shall not bear
Many a burden, many a care.
But God hath promised strength for the day,
Rest for the labour, light for the way,
Grace for the trials, help from above,
Unfailing kindness, undying love.
God hath not promised smooth roads and wide,
Swift, easy travel, needing no guide;
Never a mountain, rocky and steep,
Never a river turbid and deep.
But God hath promised strength for the day,
Rest for the labour, light for the way,
Grace for the trials, help from above,
Unfailing kindness, undying love
by: Annie Johnson Flint
Brownswissmomma's Blog 
Praying Esther ,I am so glad you went away you need that !God will handle everything else I know he will .
Esther, I enjoyed reading your blog. Your husband Ray is now on a roller coaster ride for a while. I was diagnosed with MM 2 years ago. I am now 38, married with 3 children. Continue to make great families that is what we have tried to do. And continue to pray. God is good! I had a stem cell transplant in June and my numbers are finally coming down. There will be sunny days. Try and take advantage of as many as possible. If you want you can check out my blog at http://www.unexpectedopponent.blogspot.com.
I don’t post as often as I would like but I try. Lol
Praying & sending our love…
My heart aches for you. I know your faith is strong and you never doubt His love. Sometimes God’s permissive will is not what we hope for. I can not say I know what you are going through…but I do know you are doing what is right for your family and my cousin Ray.
Have you been following the Joey and Rory saga on facebook? It also is difficult to understand why God allows such things to happen to people who love the Lord and continually praise Him in spite of their pain. I am sure sometime and someway God will use your story and theirs for His glory and your good.
Oh, Esther, my heart breaks for you! IN the name of Jesus, Peace and HOPE for the future. Darkness, Diispare LEAVE. God is right there with you , right now! May God light your path with HIS Light and shine his miracles in your family tonight. Amen.
My heart breaks for you, Esther! IN the name of Jesus, Darkness, dispare Leave. Your child Esther will rise up in HOPE and NEW strength. IN the name of Jesus, peace, Hope and light enter that house tonight. May this family experience YOUR provisions and YOUR miracles. Amen.
Continuing to pray for your whole family. Reading your blog, a song came to mind. The chorus says : ” The God of the mountain is still God in the valley, when things go wrong, He’ll make them right. And the God of the good times is still God in the bad times. The God of the day is still God in the night.” May the Lord flood you with His presence and peace, especially during the holiday season. Consider yourself hugged. ❤
Esther I am so sorry for what you al are going through. I pray for you often and you are all in my heart. I am sorry I haven’t been able to do anything to help–I work out of town and am only home for the whole day on Saturdays. You are all in my heart!
thank you so much for your prayers Cyndi.