URGENT needed East Coast Family

We are looking for a homestudy ready family for a 6 week old baby girl who suffered a traumatic birth and has been diagnosed with HEI (Hypoxic Ischemic Encephalopathy). Her future is so unknown. We need to have a family in a East Coast state by Monday. We just started working with the hospital but the baby is ready to be released. She does have a feeding tube. ONLY homestudy ready families email sara@specialangelsadoption.org for more information.

10492276_302967853217775_1916457839366216664_n[1]OH my heart I KNOW There is SOMEONE!!


I asked for TIME, God granted my request

When Ray was first diagnosed,  I knew that I knew …because God let me know, this was Not going to be easy. He was not going to be one that had a treatment that worked, got a Stem Cell Transplant and go into remission for a long time… Lots of patients with multiple myeloma do that, but God prepared me that that was not going to be Ray’s path. Here we are almost two years after diagnosis, never out of treatment, never in remission… BUT … BUT… This last treatment Has WORKED in a way that none of the others have!!


Fourteen months ago, he had a bone marrow biopsy that showed he had 75% of his marrow was cancerous…75% of the cells.  His marrow was making mostly cancerous plasma cells…but that was down from the 95% at diagnosis…so on he continued…The immunotherapy they put him on in March alerts his body to attack the cancer cells by marking them so the body recognizes the cancer as foreign. The problem with this treatment is that the blood results do not give the full picture anymore and the cancer is hard to measure from bloodwork alone. Ray had gotten to the point where they could not tell what his numbers really were, he was having a lot of pain and general exhaustion so they scheduled a bone marrow biopsy… and….and 15% we are at 15%!!!


15% it should be 0% for remission but 95% to 75% to 15%!!!  YAY… he did lose function of his thyroid somewhere along this chemo journey, and he is coming to grips with the fact even though the cancer load is lower, he may always have the pain from damage…but 15%!! whoo hoo!! Praise God~~ we have MORE TIME!!


Small family NEEDED for a baby girl due with Spina Bifida


Special Angels Adoption is looking for a homestudy ready family for a baby girl who will be born in January with spina bifida. The birth family is looking for a family with 0-2 children. Bi-racial family is preferred but not required. NO additional information will be shared on the public page. If you are homestudy and would like more information please contact sara@specialangelsadoption.org .


Times of stability

I remember those days…Times of stability… Times of one day the same as the next… I think those days are gone. It sure is a way to shake you out, shake your junk outside of your mind and expose it for all to see… And during that process, things can be messy. Downright messy.


Fear, the one thing that came out first was fear: I was afraid for the present, afraid for the future, afraid for my children, afraid for Ray but mostly if I were honest …Afraid for ME… Afraid for ME. Nothing altruistic in that, just lots of fear…and not all of it was shown in ways that were loving and kind… I pushed people away that I should not have just because they triggered fear in me… I clung to people not ready for it because I was afraid… and I felt so very isolated. No amount of scripture, no amount of people talking helped… and prayers, I will get to that.

Fear still comes to visit but it doesn’t stay.



Next came anger… I was angry. Angry mostly at God, look at this, I thought you would take care of us. I thought that since we obeyed and did what you asked all of our lives that you would let us live a full and happy life… Man did I buy into that prosperity Gospel. But I didn’t even know it. Underneath all of that anger was FEAR…yea back to that word again.

All I can say is that as time passes and God just waits for me… my temper tantrum and fears are subsiding…and I can see…God is still there, He has always been there and He waits. And he waits. What a patient God.


Now an update on Ray… after his hospitalization in September, he has been stable. The length of his sickness has been very discouraging in itself. He can no longer do the things he once did and is more dependent on others. We had a new calf and, of course, the momma needed milked. All was fine, until it wasn’t … there was a day he could just not milk that cow, no matter how much he wanted to, he just could not have the energy. He has lost height, his appearance has changed to the point that he saw someone he knew very well at a store and they did not recognize him. His PICC line is not working out. His dressings keep breaking down his skin; he keeps getting open sores from them and probably this week it will be either changed to a port or just completely pulled to prevent an infection.

Pray for a great decision about that. He hurts ALL the TIME. All the TIME and that is making him very exhausted.


When he was hospitalized in September and the tire shop is still struggling. Benjamin could not, as usual, get on the bus without a major operation, everything done in order his way…major anxiety  about everything to do with school. The girls were just not getting along …I looked around and knew, I can never “go to work” I have to work from home and I need to find something I think I can do…. I signed up to be a consultant for LuLaRoe. It is very time consuming. I love the clothes and if you buy them anyway, think about joining my VIP group. LuLaRoe Brownswissmomma on FB. https://www.facebook.com/groups/BrownswissmommaBoutique/   If not honestly, don’t feel like you need to.


Just trying to figure it all out and working now with the knowledge that things will never be the same again. And just trying to be ok with that.


God bless you all Mightily

img_5560The post traumatic days go by…My mind is fuzzy, my motions are in slow motion…I can’t seem to organize even one thought in my brain… This is what happened…


The last I wrote, Ray was hospitalized with pneumonia. Later tests also found he had sepsis. I was at home with the kids when I got a phone call from the doctor, due to the noise of the wrestling kids I only got spurts of sentences…”he …episode…blood clot…icu…” Ok I have no idea what was in the middle of all that and honestly, Josiah has gotten into pinching really hard and he had Eli pinned to the ground in a death pinch on his face and was threatening to bite him too…so… I said thank you. Because honestly, it did not matter what I missed, I knew I had to get to the hospital. I called Micah at work ( we are so fortunate to own a small business where the boys work). He came home and I left in my Lularoe piggy leggings just because they make Ray smile. When I got in the room, they had Ray on a bipap machine to help him breathe… The pigs did make him smile 🙂  The nurse said that he had an episode of low blood pressure, high heart rate and  inability to breathe. It scared them. They called the ICU up for a consult to make sure there was nothing more that needed done. They were going to intubate him and asked if he had an advance directive. He said no…and “I have a three year old.” So they prepared to move him to ICU but the floor nurses with the ICU doctor were able to stabilize him there with the bipap. The two theories were: a blood clot (primary care doc thought this, but he is on continuous thinners) or septic shock (ICU doc thought that was what happened).

img_5557 My sisters had a few days of talking me out of a panic attack…and praying for me…as all of you did too; most not knowing the extent of what was happening. Please, if we ever come to mind: pray…God sure knows and he prompts prayer from those he knows will be faithful to his nudge…

We are so fortunate to have Ray back home with us again.

After release from the hospital, they wanted to remove all sources of infection. He has had a new pic line placed…and he had 23 teeth pulled. yeah ouch…major ouchie (without being put to sleep too) So he has been on a liquid or processed in a blender diet. He will get new teeth hopefully by the holidays 🙂

He missed chemotherapy due to being sick and had not had a treatment for a month. And we were anxious about what his multiple myeloma was doing…but PRAISE God with his bloodwork from this week…his cancer numbers have NOT risen!! Praise God!!


Meanwhile…God somehow has provided money to keep our bills mostly paid for home and the business… and I just am amazed that somehow, someway, through the loyal customers, through the fleet customers that are so forgiving when Ray is forgetful…every week we have just a little bit of money to go another day and keep the doors open. We thank God every day for our friends and family that keep us afloat…May God bless you mightily.


Multiple situations of Children not in foster care, aged 4-11 in the US that need families!

As babies are being placed, desired, and sought with special needs, children that are a little older wait…and wait…and wait. Lots of families want to adopt…infants…. But doesn’t EVERY child need a family?? I know some families do not feel equipped to jump right in there and bond with little people that are already partially formed, partially grown… but just read and consider these situations anyway!! Pray for them, pray for their families to find them…and pray and just see if your heart is drawn to any of them…who knows… just maybe one of these situations is YOURS!!

10492276_302967853217775_1916457839366216664_n[1]These situations are all through Special Angels Adoptions…either directly or they are the mediatory agent between the adopting parents and the placing agency… There is NO fee to be presented or to be on Special Angels’ registry of families.

The Pacific Western States:

Image result for image pacific states

  • 1. A four year old Boy that has been diagnosed with hydrocephalus and septo-optic dysplasia that is not as severe as the doctors expected. This little guy has a feeding tube because of reflux and currently does not take any food by mouth. He has been scooting 😀 and may soon walk even though he has been diagnosed with cerebral palsy! He is stable medically and has no current issues with the ventricular shunt. He is Happy and loves to babble!! and is a redhead !! He currently is on medication to control seizures. He is developmentally delayed. This momma wants an OPEN adoption.  Mom is looking for a family that is traditional,  married with 1-4 children, but will consider other families that can show her how they will be able to meet this little guy’s needs.

    Fees for this situation: if Special Angels Adoption, an agency, is needed for application for subsidies, $8,300.

    However, if you do not want Special Angels Adoptions to be involved and you want to get subsidies on your own, or don’t need them; Special Angels will step out and you can do your own adoption attorney to attorney!

    contact:  sara@specialangelsadoption.org


  • 2. A birth father, who has sole custody, is seeking to place his eight year old  son who has Septo-optic dysplasia. He cannot see shadows and has no vision at all. He has light sandy hair and green/brown eyes. He uses a small white cane and can communicate using basic ASL. He takes medication for a growth deficiency and is small in size. He has some developmental delays. He has really started to do a lot of new things and is making progress!! He can eat and go potty by himself. This guy loves jazz, classical and R&B music. He loves being read to and is starting to learn Braille. He loves water and wants to learn how to swim.

    Fees for this situation are $5000 not including finalization in your state.

    Contact sara@specialangelsadoption.org

  • South Central States

  • Image result for south central states



  • 3. A family is sought for a little six year old boy. He is seven years old and he is described by his family as precious, funny, sweet and can be caring. He loves to be a helper and needs to be affirmed after he does something good. He loves to swim, ride bikes and play with friends. He really, really loves furry friends…so a family with a fur baby would be perfect. He is in a special program at school, he has been hospitalized for psychological help. He needs to be the baby of the family. Transitions are hard for him. He   has strabismus in his eyes and wears glasses. A family with no younger children that can maintain a calm, controlled environment . He would benefit from a stay at home parent that has 6-9 months to dedicate to him to help him adjust. An open adoption is being sought.

    Fees: $8,300 through Special Angels Adoption, however if an agency is not desired and you will apply for subsidies on your own, SAA will step out and you can hire an attorney on your own.

    Contact: sara@specialangelsadoption.org


  • 4. A grandma, who has custody, is seeking to place her 8 year old girl. Grandma is getting older and is not in good health. Consents can readily be signed. This little girl has Atatic cerebral palsy, significant cognitive delays and seizures. She can pick up her sippy cup but cant set it back down. She needs help in feeding. She remembers peoples voices well and understands a lot of the conversation around her. She can walk with support, and can go up stairs. With prompts she can do some self care. She loves to be rocked and snuggled.  Music helps her go to sleep. She loves all kinds of music.  When she is happy she squeals. She needs sunglasses to go outside. She is not potty trained and cannot speak. She is sensitive to temperature changes and this can cause a seizure. She does not like to have her hair brushed.

    The fees for this situation are $8300, however since the legals may be higher, estimate 10,000. If you don’t need subsidies or want agency help, once again SAA will step out and let attorney’s handle the adoption.

    Contact:   sara@specialangelsadoption.org

  • 10492276_302967853217775_1916457839366216664_n[1]These little ones need to find their families. If these children tug at your heart and you are homestudy ready…contact Sara… If NOT, share so they can find their home.. And pray that we all could look at ourselves a little clearer, a little closer…and know that EVERY child belongs in a family …parenting is a life long job…and their lives have just barely begun. Lets all do our part.

  • Esther


no one tells you how to balance

So much information : medications, chemotherapy,  procedures, parenting, potty training….but no one ever tells you how to balance it all…That’s because there is no good answer. How  do you make reservations for a family trip, the IDSC ( international Down syndrome Coalition) which we only planned on staying two nights, to a place that the littles love…and they talk about it for months, since Janaury!! and then Ray gets sick…not horribly sick but a cold…

So your choices are:

  • stay home and the kids don’t get to go … again…
  • or go one night alone with the kids and leave Ray at home with strict instructions and half disappoint the kids by shortening he vacation, and make the most of it…

bridge that gap somehow…

The hardest part of last year was getting to the point of acknowledging this is our new normal…this is our life…and thank God I got back in time. I drove home from Wolf Lodge in the Poconos, a five hour drive, and was home by 8:00 pm through a beautiful sunset…just beautiful …

Things went downhill fast tonight. He got the chills. I put two blankets on him. Tried to take his temp and he threw the thermometer across the room…began to talk nonsense. I asked him, “do you think you will be ok?” He said …” I think we can cut it and win.” at that point I bundled him up and we went out in the pouring rain. The only regret is I should have called the ambulance.  Here we are in the ER being admitted with pneumonia. and…did I balance it right this time? I don’t know. No matter what I do, part of my decisions always seem right and part of. them wrong. All I do is keep breathing, keep swimming and most importantly, keep the Faith…Pray that Ray gets better really soon!!!


Bu my God shall supply your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19 … And Carol, see we NEEDED that food you sent yesterday…I have a list a mile long and now food is NOT on it!! Thank YOU!!


Traditional Family needed for baby due December 2016


A mother is expecting a little baby in December that will be Caucasian or Caucasian/Hispanic.  The expectant mother denies the use of drugs, alcohol and any mental illness.  A Bundle of Joy Referral is looking for a family that will meet the expectant mother’s requests:

  • A traditional adoptive couple
  • An adoptive family that will commit to a semi-open or open adoption


  • Agency fee: $25,000(includes birth mother expenses)
  • Legal(includes finalization) $3000-$5000
  • A Bundle of Joy Referral Fee: $1,500

Please respond to this opportunity on or before Friday, September 16,2016 Noon EST with a YES or NO response if you would like to be considered!

Please only contact ABOJ if you are serious:


or call: (877)890-5266


If this is not your baby, please share so the expectant mom can find the family  in whose arms she wishes to place her precious little one. If this situation MEETS your criteria: please Call or email 🙂 Pray for the expectant momma, this is the hardest decision in the world.





Family needed for a 4 year old boy

In a Pacific Northwestern state, a four year old boy with global developmental delays needs an adoptive home. Both of his birthparents agree that placement is in his best interest due to some recent changes in their family. He is Caucasian and has a special kind of sunshine smile that melts your heart. He is working on potty training and beginning to learn signed language for communication. This little guy will be transitioned into his new home quickly once a family is found since the momma is getting overwhelmed. The agency for this placement is Special Angels Adoptions and they would LOVE to speak to any interested families!!

10492276_302967853217775_1916457839366216664_n[1]Please email: sara@specialangelsadoption.org 

or jennifer@specialangelsadoption.org

 for more information!

If this precious child of God is not your little boy, please share so he can find his family very, very soon.

Pray for the birth family who has decided to place him into a new loving home, and pray for the little guy during his transition…and for the families who will decide whether to say YES or no. Please do consider saying yes…



Sometimes the answer to a prayer is a rope and chain

I was cleaning in the cellar while the littles were napping. Faith was folding clothes, Mazie and Benjamin were watching The Pink Panther, and Shyloh was picking apples in the fence. I sent Mazie out with a load of pipes to take to Ray’s garage. We heard what sounded like some neighbor kids yelling, and did not pay much attention. There was one long pvc water pipe that was light…Eli had gotten out of bed, so I gave it to him to carry…it was very long and he was having trouble getting it through the gate, so I went to help. The yelling was louder. I threw the pipe in the garage, Eli ran around the corner of the garage and yelled something that sounded like Shyloh and cow…. I ran. I saw that mean heifer ,full grown, had Shyloh pinned to the ground. She was in the fetal position screaming, cradling her glasses…the cow was pushing full bore from a kneeling position, twisting her head into shyloh’s hip. I yelled to Mazie, tell Dad to bring the gun and I took up the hill. I had nothing in my hand. I had nothing, no weapon…I was praying, “please God, I need something…and partway up the hill, God provided THIS:

Rusty old tie down

I thanked God with tears in my eyes as I continued to charge up the hill. Shyloh was still screaming but now I had the heifer’s attention. I was in a defensive position, being down the hill from her as she began to move toward me. I swung the rope with the metal end toward her and cracked her in the left nostril …she kept coming I swung again and again..she was not coming closer, but not leaving either. With my eyes on her, I told Shy to stand UP if she could and get her club. She had taken a club with her to pick the apples but when she laid it down to pick one, the heifer had charged her. I told Shyloh to get behind me…and as we tried to keep the high ground, Ray and Ian showed up, without the gun, but now with the extra help, they herded the cow to the pen and I got Shyloh out of there….God protected her, God provided that rope and metal tie down right in front of me…without that, it could have been a much different story.

imageI took Shyloh to the ER. They did. contrast CT scan to be sure her kidney was ok and she was not bleeding internally since she had a deep bruise on her back and tons of contusions and scratches there. Thank God that was clear. The first reading of the X-ray on her arm that the cow stepped on, they missed the fracture of her left elbow..so I had to take her back in later for the sling and splint…God how scary…a hamburger anyone?? I was one scared and dirty momma…And our Shy, pray for her…it really shook her up.